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[Satire] Christian Denominations Consider Historic Merger Under Proposed ‘One Church Network’

  Leaders explore shared structure to address decline in participation—while eyeing potential funding from the LDS Church. Chicago, August 2025 — Representatives from several major Christian denominations met last week to explore the formation of the One Church Network , a proposed collaborative structure aimed at consolidating resources and countering long-term decline in church attendance. While the framework remains in early development, organizers hope the Network could serve as a cooperative umbrella across Protestant, Evangelical, Anglican, and some Catholic communities. The goal is to streamline administration, reduce redundancies, and restore public engagement without requiring theological conformity. However, one internal discussion has sparked cautious debate: whether to seek financial support from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A Logical but Complicated Backer The LDS Church, with its extensive financial reserves, global infrastructure, and aggre...
Recent posts

Religion and Depression

I’ve been doing some reading lately, trying to expand my understanding a bit when it comes to the role religion plays in adolescent development. Mostly this is for my own self-awareness. A lot of the content I create generates conversations with people who grew up in religious households. Many of them come from LDS backgrounds, but there’s a pretty wide mix across different faiths. I’ve been trying to understand why people are affected by religion the way they are. Because it’s mixed. Some people say their faith-based worldview gave them the tools to handle life’s hardships. It gave them a sense of purpose, structure, and community. But, maybe because of the nature of my content, I hear a lot from the other side too. People tell me their religious upbringing made their depression and anxiety worse. That it had a serious negative impact on their mental well-being.  I came across this research article I wanted to share. It’s called Religiosity and Spirituality in the Prevention an...

[Satire] Mormon Church Approves Missionary Tattoos to Boost Street Cred

Salt Lake City — August 2025 In an unexpected update to the Missionary Handbook, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has officially began allowing tattoos for full-time missionaries “when spiritually appropriate and strategically effective.” The new policy was piloted in select urban missions where traditional outreach efforts have struggled to gain traction. A press release from Church headquarters explained, “In today’s world, authenticity builds trust. If a small, intentional tattoo helps missionaries connect with those they serve, it’s worth considering.” Under the policy, tattoos are optional and require direct approval from the mission president. Final design decisions will be made on a case-by-case basis, taking into account the missionary’s assignment, intended message, and overall vibe. Elder Halverson, currently serving in the Seattle Washington Mission, received permission to get a small forearm tattoo featuring a verse from Isaiah. “It’s opened up mo...

My Temple Experience

I want to share a little bit about my experience going through a Mormon temple. Specifically, I’m going to talk about the expectations that were set up from a young age, what it was like the first few times I went, and how I eventually lost my faith in temple worship overall. I grew up in northern Utah. My parents were LDS, so I was a child of the covenant. I was baptized at eight and raised in church culture—Boy Scouts, Young Men’s, seminary, a mission. Basically the typical path you’d expect from a Mormon boy. The point I want to make is that the decision to attend the temple wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment choice. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to go. At least not in my experience. I was born into the church, started attending Primary, and from that point on, I was told I’d get baptized, receive the Aaronic priesthood, receive the Melchizedek priesthood, and go through the temple. That message was repeated over and over from the time I was in Sunbeams until baptism at ...

[Satire] The Church is True Starting.... now

In a formal statement released this morning, the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced that, as of today, the Church is officially and fully true. “For nearly 200 years, the Church has moved forward through continuing revelation,” said President Russell M. Nelson. “That process has brought us to this moment. As of 8:46 a.m. Mountain Time, we affirm that the Church is now doctrinally complete, organizationally aligned, and spiritually whole. The Church is true. Starting... now. ” President Dallin H. Oaks emphasized that the announcement does not deny or discredit the teachings of earlier prophets. “Everything that came before should be understood as part of what we already understood was a continuing restoration,” he said. “Today marks the point at which the gospel has officially been restored.” The Church's official newsroom confirmed that all prior doctrinal contradictions, historical complexities, and structural inconsiste...

Challenging the Claim: Are Book of Mormon Naming Patterns Evidence of Ancient Origin?

     In his chapter “Hebraisms and Other Ancient Peculiarities in the Book of Mormon,” published in Echoes and Evidences of the Book of Mormon  ( affiliate link) , Donald W. Parry suggests that the Book of Mormon reflects ancient Semitic origins through the way names are used in the text. He highlights three main points: the absence of surnames, the lack of names beginning with the letter F, and the complete avoidance of the letters q, x, and w in all 337 proper names in the Book of Mormon. He argues that these features mirror patterns found in the Bible and that it would be unlikely for Joseph Smith to have replicated them by chance.      This claim sounds convincing on the surface, but it falls apart under closer examination. These patterns are better explained as a result of Joseph Smith’s efforts to match the tone, structure, and language of the King James Bible.       The Bible served as Joseph Smith’s template. The King Jam...

The History of Joseph Smith By His Mother

     Written by Lucy Mack Smith and first published in 1853, The History of Joseph Smith By His Mother , is one of the earliest records about Joseph Smith’s life. As his mother, Lucy offers a personal view of his upbringing, the Smith family’s struggles, and the events leading up to the founding of the Church. The History of Joseph Smith By His Mother (Amazon affiliate link)      I recommend the edition that is labeled as the complete and unabridged 1853 first edition . Later versions were edited and don’t include everything she originally wrote.      It’s not a polished history. It reads more like a collection of memories. That makes it valuable in that Joseph's story is told a bit different than how the church often tells it. Lucy talks about Joseph’s childhood illnesses, the family's money troubles, and their spiritual beliefs. Including vivid accounts of visions held by both herself and her husband.   ...